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Bureau of Truth in Advertising Takes Over the Personal Ads
Erin Abernethy & Patrick Redding DWM - 56yo alcoholic ESPN watcher seeks tolerant no-brainer to bring snacks & beer from fridge. Attractive, good personality, exp. a plus but not req. No AA counselors, please. Closeted GWM - Attending cousin's wedding in June, need cover story. $$. Serious need not apply. I AM WAITING FOR YOU - 40ish tall dark SWM seeks attractive ice-cold WF who works at ******** Bank. You know who you are & so do I -- been stalking you for past 6 mos.! Call me @ ******* or be prepared to pick up my bleeding corpse from your parking lot. I LOVE YOU. LET'S GET TOGETHER. I CONFESS I AM A 42yo SWM, former priest, available for dress-up, role-play fun. Seeking SWF, divorced OK. Good w/children. DWM seeks BiWF. Let me watch! 25yo SWM enjoys model railroads, Disney movies, macaroni sculpture. Seeking SWF my overprotective mother would approve. No dates in 8 yrs! Having your own place a big plus! Call now! PLEASE! 36yo Separated BM seeks SWBBW for fun & games. Hurry up & call before my wife changes her mind & comes back! 21yo SM, short dark handsome little English, seeks SWF for marriage, Green Card. Children OK, I have 3! 54yo computer jockey seeks e-mail pal for hot chats. 18+ ONLY, still on probation from that last incident. 45yo inmate seeks SW bitch w/heavy artillery to make my Valentine's Day. Bust me out, baby, cuz you know I wuz framed. I AM A 28yo SF into Oprah, Dr. Phil, reading Cosmo-YOU are a 30ish DM into NASCAR, hunting trips, truck tune-ups! Let's get together anyway so we can whine and complain about each other instead of how bored & lonely we are! 35yo WF, 42-44-56, still trying to dress like the 36-24-36 size I never was, seeks guy. Any guy. Call me if you think white-glitter eyeshadow works for anyone! Moderately attractive grad student too busy for dating seeks gentleman holiday escort to silence prying family questions about sexual orientation, marriage, kids, etc. 36yo DWF seeks babysitter for my brats so Mom can go party again! Good Christian Woman seeks sinner to marry, nag into reform, complain about, and eventually martyr myself to. Call me now, before you are called to account on Judgment Day! 24yo GBF seeks same to go out once or twice, move in with me, fool around with all my friends, then dump me, leaving me a whining, alcoholic bundle of nerves! Party gal seeks big guy with big truck, big appetites, and no standards! YOUR WIFE FORGIVES YOU AGAIN, BOBBY JOE, THAT RESTRAINING ORDER DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING, JUST MY WAY OF SHOWING I WAS MAD BUT COME ON HOME NOW. I PUT AWAY THE KITCHEN KNIVES, I SWEAR. Petite cute blond with unbelievably low self-esteem seeks big brainless lug! Call! Bi-curious chick seeks attractive married couple. Let me be the excuse you've been waiting for to get those divorce talks rolling! © Copyright 2004-2007 Erin Abernethy & Patrick Redding |