The Polar Bear Prince

Polar Bear Drawing

Polar Bear Drawing by Rebeccarawrr. Licensed CC BY 4.0.

by Geoff Hauser

I have a rescued polar bear.
I got him from a friend.
She saved him from some walruses
Who bullied him no end.

His fur was pink and purple;
They’d painted him, you see,
Because they were so jealous
Of his royal pedigree.

He had a royal letter
In case of spots of bother;
It said he was the bastard son
Of some old queen’s dead father.

I do not know genetics.
My history I’ve forgotten,
But if my bear’s a polar prince,
I’m certain something’s rotten.

He doesn’t seem so princely
When he leaves fur in my tub.
(To get that pink and purple off,
We really had to scrub!)

He’s not aristocratic.
He scratches, snores, and farts,
And when I take him to the pub,
He’s very good at darts.

His tastes are rather simple:
He likes reruns of Dallas,
The only crown I’ve seen him wear
Is one from Burger Palace.

I really do not care about
My polar friend’s bloodline;
As long as he’ll poo in the loo,
I think we’ll do just fine.

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