Degaussed Again

F.X. MacKenzie

Bristol, on the edge
a place neither here nor there
A crossroads
An in-between place
Where compasses and other instruments of navigation
Are useless
I'm lingering after some event
a movie, perhaps
or a light show at the observatory
(how unsettling it might be
finding oneself on the wrong end of the telescope)
I'm leaving with my sister
but she's younger--a child
while I'm still a creaky
old freak of relativity
we're supposed to meet with
the authorities
for a question-and-answer period
but then I see

Her
The Museling
(when did she become blond?)
with a kid brother
(when did she get him?)
we Know, she and I,
this magnetic connection
this mnemonification
gravitational disturbance
realignment of the known universe

I follow her home
protesting siblings on the perimeter
we talk
as though she isn't a teenager
as though I don't have arthritic joints
(which have now been cured
by some misunderstood miracle of physics
as I regress to nineteen)
she has an upstairs room where
we wouldn't be heard if we were alone
I learn her name
pleased with myself for discovering
her alias for this reality
(first and last, and address to boot,
and the name of her school
stenciled on the front of her jersey)
memorized until the chances of forgetting
were surely infinitesimal
and now it's gone
all gone
done in by another impossibility
data sucked straight into my black hole of a brain

Her mother comes in
a different one, thank the gods
introductions
puzzlement
consternation and harassment
I've been reported
I need to go
need to go
need to
hurry, check the time
evade the dream police
too late

apprehended
interrogated
demoralized and demagnetized
Officer Snapdragon is
unable to grasp the facts:
I am a lifeless moon
drifting aimlessly without
Her presence to
define the path of my orbit

So help me Heisenberg
I will find Her again
pulled by the force of her
electric impulsiveness
Gravity will save me
but I can't help wondering
why was she blond?
and
what was her name?


© Copyright 2005 by F.X. MacKenzie


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